Topic: A major decision. (A decision/event that changed your life) A major event that changed my life was when someone close to me died, my grandmother.
Thesis (Main Idea and Three supporting points): The death of my grandmother changed my life because I learned how to take care of my health better, how to allow change and to adapt, and to learn how to get out of my comfort zone.
feedback that my teacher gave me ( so if you followed this, that would be good): Topic looks good, but make sure the 3 supporting points are clearly stated – the 3 different ways in which Grandmother’s death changed you.
Some suggestions:
Make sure you state an effective thesis clearly at the end of the Introduction – main idea followed by the 3 supporting points – 3 different ways in which this changed you or affected you – or 3 different ways in which this will bring about change. (Make sure the points are stated in a condensed way, so it can fit into the Thesis.)
Then develop the 3 points clearly in 3 different body paragraphs.
Make sure to state the Topic Sentence (which should include a supporting point) as the first sentence of the Body Paragraph – this will help to guide the paragraphs.
Also, develop and present the three points effectively in the body paragraphs – make sure you give examples, details, and explanations to support each point to convince the readers.
Even though in a narration you tell a story, in this essay, you are going to
use a real story from your life to write an academic essay. Please don’t write – “Once
upon a time, stories ….â€
The successful essay will include:
1) A clear and concise thesis statement that tells readers the point or purpose of the paper.
2) Sufficient details about before the event, the event itself and after the event or its result. (Content) * Keep the sequence of events clear by using transitional cues.
3) A clear sense of how the event has changed you in some way. (Ideas/reason and logic)
4) A clear organization of thoughts and events. (Structure) * Use vigorous details – vivid and appealing to the senses.
5) Relatively few grammatical and spelling errors.
* Use varied sentence structure and figures of speech to enliven the narrative.
* Use consistent point of view.
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